Our Top 10 Favorite Mineral/Rock/Gem Memes

While the old definition of “Meme” would simply imply a behavior learned from cultural or non-family social interaction, the standard for “Meme” now is these humorous photos. Memes start when someone takes a photo, puts some words on it and posts it online. With enough approval, blanks are requested so that the public can start producing their own. The one unfortunate aspect of this is memes becoming too popular and being generated by people who do not have the aptitude to CREATE, leading to some very poor examples floating around on the internet.

Minerals have been the subject of these online jokes since nearly the beginning of their production. As terrible b/tards, tumblr uses and redditors, we have seen and collected dozens of mineral themed memes over the past few years and now we want to share them with you!

And now, onto…

#10 – Brace Yourself – The Mineral Posts are coming

Game of Thrones Meme for Minerals

This meme comes from the HBO show, Game of Thrones,
with Ned Stark saying his legendary line…”Brace Yourself, Winter is coming”, denoting the approaching LONG seasonal change in that fantasy world, which can last for a decade or more. In Memespeak, these are created when a meme goes viral, someone will inevitably produce Ned warning the audience that soon there will be a flood of that meme, most, poorly produced.

#9 – TheOatmeal.com – “We Require More Minerals!”

TheOatmeal Starcraft Meme for Minerals

Starcraft is a great game by Blizzard and while it has a huge fan following, South Korea is well known as the country with the most rabid players. While the South Koreans are plugging away at their computers looking for pixelated crystals, in North Korea, minerals are a more serious business! Created by the great comic creator, TheOatmeal.com

#8 – Halite Makes Me Hot

Models for Minerals

A favorite of online mineral memes is the paring of a mineral with a model and “quoting” the model telling the audience how incredibly turned on they are by a ugly rock. One of the misnomers about mineral collecting is that it is a bunch of old crusty men, when in reality there are, my god, WOMEN that collect minerals! Not only are they…Female…many of them are BEAUTIFUL women! Gasp! This is one of our favorites, because we can’t think of anyone who comes away from the halite filled brine pools thinking about anything besides getting a shower and lunch.

#7 – Disregard Marie, Acquire Minerals – Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad Hank Meme

A Meme within a meme within a meme, hey we have a meme to specifically make fun of that, but let’s focus on THIS one, which is, for our non-USA viewers or those who are not familiar with the excellent AMC Drama, Breaking Bad.
In the show, DEA agent Hank is shot and needs a lot of recouping time, bedridden he starts to obsess over minerals, buying them from various websites, including the one mentioned on the show, mineralemporium.com, which of course, takes you to Breaking Bad’s website. On top of that, this meme is a tribute to the Joseph Ducreux portrait, which traditionally says “Disregard Bitches, Acquire Money.”
Now, one of the funny things for Non-US visitors is that we wonder if the plot of Breaking Bad makes any sense…A School Teacher, who is poorly paid, gets cancer and is told that treatments are going to leave the family destitute. In hopes to pay for his medical treatment, he starts cooking methamphetamine. We would think in any real civilized society, someone shouldn’t have to worry about their family being torn apart by medical expenses. That’s a truly American way of life! Go USA!

#6 – Phillip J. Fry – Futurama – Not Sure if…

Futurama for Minerals

We would like to think the writers at Futurama would approve of this meme, the standard Phillip J. Fry “Not Sure if x or y” meme, done for the appreciation of minerals. There are hundreds, nay, might I guess THOUSANDS of stoners getting lost inside a quartz crystal or aragonite cluster, maybe even RIGHT THIS MOMENT! Put down the bong, son, Minerals are cool, even when not high.

#5 – Holy Shit – This Rock is PERFECT!

Found the perfect rock for my collection

There is a positive way to look at that face planting that is about to occur. Makes my face hurt…and makes me wonder…is it a quartz crystal? We hope so!

#4 – Bismuth

Bismuth Meme

The internet has a hardon for Bismuth. Lab grown Bismuth crystals are shared with reckless abandon, so this great meme, featuring a NATURAL BISMUTH crystal, a winner in our books!

#3 – Bill Larson, your argument is invalid

Invalid Meme

The meme that is dedicated to the form “This is x, your argument is invalid” where X is a something completely random and pointless, used as a tactic to make distracting point in a dispute to which you have no good retort. At an annual Tucson party celebrating the TGMS, a wild iguana appeared, coupled with countless bottles of wine, several people posed with the reptile. When it took to Pala Minerals owner “Burma Bill” Larson, a man with more untold mineral stories than you might ever hope to acquire over a lifetime, the flashes went off all over the place and as soon as an image was posted online, this meme was created.

#2 – Gave that Bitch a Crystal, Bitches love Crystals – MineralClassics’ founder Richard Kosnar and the legendary phosphophyllite.

Richard Kosnar Phosphophyllite Meme

Brian Kosnar showed me this meme that was created with a famous photo of the standard smiling face of his dad, Richard Kosnar. In his hands, the ultimate phosphophyllite. The meme? Based on a line from the TV show “The Boondocks” where the rich, violent whiteboy gangster styled after another dimensions’ George Bush Jr, saying, while texting a woman “Hold Up, I’m gonna send this bitch a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.”. Thus, the “I’m going to give this X a Y, X’s love Ys.” You can find wonderful minerals from Bolivia (where this crystal comes from), colorado and more at the website www.minclassics.com

And, finally, the Meme we believe might have been the first…

#1 – Out of nowhere…Feldspar!

Feldspar Meme

What could have been the first mineral meme, and surely, one of the most popular…”Out of Nowhere…It’s X” where X is the thing in the picture, in this case…two nice feldspar crystals.

There you have it, our Top 10 Mineral/Rock themed Memes! We certainly had MORE to share, but these were our favorites around the office. Hope you enjoyed it!

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Cummingtonite – We know you were looking for iron rich amphiboles…

As mineral collectors on the internet know, the jokes can often lead back to one mineral.
Cummingtonite. Eliciting snickers in a room of freshmen geologists (and honestly, still getting chuckles from aged field geologists under the right conditions). Lately it is the most popular iron rich amphibole mineral to be searched for on Google. We all know when we see that fact it is not because people are looking for their favorite ugly brown rock! Most minerals are searched for their beauty, this mineral can only claim its name as the claim to fame.

Cummingtonite is a rather uncommon mineral, hailing from the riverside on the far western edge of Cummington, Massachusetts. Here is a sample of the mysterious brown crusty amphibole they were mining. Scratching their heads, someone noticed this as an unknown mineral and dubbed it Cummingtonite, in honor of the town it was found. This is often the case, such as Elbaite, Annabergite, and Boleite.
Thick vein of Cummingtonite
Cummingtonite with label from original find
Cummingtonite Specimen
Garnets and Cummingtonite
This specimen pictured is from the Philadelphia Academy of Natural Sciences. It shows a chunk of brown radiating crystals with embedded garnets. Donated by a prominent American Mineralogist Charles Upham Shepard, a man who submitted the approvals for Danburite, Microlite and others. He had one of the largest collections of minerals in the United States, donating specimens to various museums in life and death. He was a well respected lecturer on subjects of Natural History. Charles Upham Shepard graduated from Amherst College in 1924, the same year that Cummingtoite was accredited.

1824. Cummingtonite. (Dewey.)
“I have here given this name to a mineral found by ‘Dr. J. Porter in
Cummington. It appears to bo a variety of epidote. Its color is gray,
sometimes with a faint reddish tinge, unless when acted on by the
weather, when its color is yellowish. It is in distinct prisms, with oblique
seams like’ zoisite, and in radiated or fascicled masses, which are com-
posed of slender prisms. Luster somewhat shining or pearly. It is nearly
as hard as quartz, and sometimes makes a slight impression upon rock
crystal. Before the blowpipe it blackens, and a small portion melts, when
the heat is very great, into a black slag, which ik attracted by the mag-
net. With quartz and garnet .it forms a largo mass in Cummington.”
C. Dewey : Geol. Min. Mass.; Am. Jour. Sci., 1st series, Vol. VIII, p, 59.
1824. Cummingtonite. Lies by the roadside in the east part of
Cumnimgton.
Known to the common people for several years under the name.of copperas
rock; occasionally used in dyeing as a substitute for sulphate of
iron.
J. Porter: Min. Loc.; Am. Jonr. Sci., 1st series, Vol. VIII, p. 233.

Cummingtonite, the inspiration for snickers, memes and lame t-shirts, has a much more benign beginning!

With your knowledge of what Cummingtonite is, beyond a cleaver play on words, now I will tell you how you can go collect your very own specimen, along with brightly colored Lepidolite mica, UV reactive opal hyalite and shiny Hematite crystals. Far off in the desert of Arizona, nobody will hear your terrible off color humor besides your collecting partners. If you’ve ever been collecting petrified wood with a group of geologists who loudly exclaim “I’VE GOT WOOD!”, you have an idea of what to expect.

The location to collect Cummingtonite is just off to the north of the BBC Mine, a half hour away from Parker, Arizona.
The area is a wonderland of mineral collecting, with the BBC mine area boasting FINE crystals of Hematite, sometimes assosicated with Chrysocolla. Further to the North is the Planet area, filled with Barite, Malachite, Chrysocolla and all sorts of beautiful minerals. Fluorite, Gold and more copper minerals are found within 20 miles of this location, so beyond the oddball amphibole Cummingtonite, there are plenty of reasons to visit this area!

Map to Cummingtonite deposit
Map to Cummingtonite deposit
Open trench at cummingtonite deposit - Watch Your Step!
The location is a simple series of trenches, where you can find a very odd form of Lepidolite, normally known as being bright purple, here it is yellow. The hematite at the cummingtonite location is not nearly as nice as the hematite at the BBC mine. <---click to view photos on MinDat.org Cummingtonite on matrix from Arizona

The material from here is not even a tenth as nice as the crunchy material from Massachusetts, however, being able to collect your own specimen of this odd, uncommon material, is something to get excited about! 😉

If you would like a more “in-depth” view into this collecting location, let me advise you to check out the excellent Android App that will guide you to several locations around the Quartzsite/Parker area. Download this Android App for $4.99

We love you readers so much that we provided a google map pointing you to the locations.


View Cummingtonite and BBC Mine in a larger map

And I’m not completely innocent on the juvenile jokes…I am the proud owner of a Dickite specimen from Beaver Creek. 😉

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